This is arguably the funniest bit of dialogue from one of the funniest movies of all time, Christmas Vacation. This is the scene where Clark rants on his boss after he has just realized that there is no bonus coming for the Griswold family this year.

Below is the text of the rant. If you want to hear the actual sound-clip from the movie in .wav format Click here now.

Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me. I have one……..I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight.

I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a……..

cheap, lying, no-good, rotten,

four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating,

inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking,

dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless,

heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged,

spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is!

Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?